by: hailey ripple
Individual and External Factors
Individual factors may include personality traits, self-esteem, and attachment styles, while external factors examine how the approval, support, and overlap of your social networks affect the likelihood of maintaining your relationship (Le et al., 2010). Surprisingly, individual factors were found to have a limited, if any, influence on the stability of the relationship. However, results indicated that support of your social network was moderately predictive of a relationship ending. Specifically, the more support you have from your social network, the less likely you are to break up with your significant other. However, how much the couple’s social groups overlap did not influence whether or not they would stay together.
Relationship Factors
Factors that been found to hold the most weight when it comes to the level of stability in the relationship include relationship factors – specifically affective, cognitive, and behavioral variables. Le and colleagues (2010) found that the most influential relationship stability factors included positive illusions (your ability to see your partner in a positive light; Joel, 2013), commitment, and feelings of love towards a significant other. Karney (2010) posits that by maintaining positive illusions of your partner you are more easily able to attribute negative or annoying behaviors that your significant other is engaging in to global factors, rather than personal flaws. Lastly, while maintaining positive illusions of your partner has shown to be critical, Neff and Karney (2005) also found it is important to be accurate in those positive illusions. In other words, it is best that your perceptions of your partner map onto how they present in real life.
Another factor that has been found to be important in relationships is gratitude. In other words, when people feel appreciative to have that person as their significant other (Joel, 2013). When people expressed feelings of gratitude about their partner they were more likely to be committed to the relationship long-term and more responsive to their partners needs (Gordon, Impett, Kogan, Oveis, & Keltner, 2012). Research has also found that it didn’t matter whether the person gave or received gratitude, it resulted in the same positive outcomes for both parties (Algoe, Gable, & Maisel, 2010).
Conclusions
After taking individual, external, and relationship, factors under consideration, the evidence lies overwhelmingly with relationship factors carrying the most weight when it comes to staying together or breaking up. While it appears that some external variables can influence the viability of a relationship (i.e. support from social networks; Le et al., 2010), the most potent factors all fall within the broad scope of relationship factors. Most importantly, your ability to maintain positive illusions about your partner and attribute their annoying or negative behavior to more global causes can play a large role in the maintenance of the relationship (Le et al., 2010; Karney, 2013). That being said, this research indicates that when a relationship is on the rocks, it may be best to get back to the basics and remember what it was they first admired about their partner and restore some of those positive illusions. Further, acknowledging those positive characteristics in their partner through acts of gratitude may help the relationship get back on track.
References
- Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It’s the little things: everyday gratitude as a booster shot for romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17, 217-233.
- Gordon, A. M., Impett, E. A., Kogan, A., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2012). To have and to hold: gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds. Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes, 103(2), 257-274.
- Joel, S. (2013). Getting married? Love science? Here are our ten research-based wedding vows. [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2013/12/9/getting-married-love-science-here-are-our-ten-research-based.html
- Karney, B. R. (2010). Keeping marriages healthy, and why it’s so difficult. [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2010/02/sci-brief.aspx
- Le, B., Dove, N. L., Agnew, C. R., Korn, M. S., & Mutso, A. A. (2010). Predicting nonmarital romantic relationship dissolution: a meta-analytic synthesis. Personal Relationships, 17, 377-390.
- Neff, L. A. & Karney, B. R. (2005). To know you is to love you: the implications of global adoration and specific accuracy for marital relationships. Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes, 88(3), 480-497.