By: Kara Nayfa
Biological factors that influence attraction can trace back to Darwinism. According to the Males-Compete/Females-Choose (MCFC) theory, evolutionarily males would compete for their mates and females would choose their mates (Stewart-Williams & Thomas, 2013). Males began to choose quantity of mates over quality of mates because other males who chose quantity would have more offspring. For males, this eventually turned into short-term sexual relationships. Females began to choose quality over quantity because those who chose quality had more surviving offspring. For females, this evolved into long-term bonds. This biological theory does explain a small portion of how biology impacts our choice of mate; however, the Mutual Mate Choice (MMC) theory expands upon this. This theory postulates that children became more dependent upon their parents increasing the length of childhood, which required more pair bonding and male parental care (Stewart-Williams & Thomas, 2013). Males became choosier about their mate because they invested more in their offspring, whereas females evolved to compete for the most desirable partners. As our biology changes and our needs change, who we are attracted to changes and who we choose as our partners changes.
Situational factors also have a major influence on who we are attracted to. Research has shown that familiarity is associated with greater attraction (Reis, Maniaci, Caprariello, Eastwick, & Finkel, 2011). Researchers found that when individuals had the chance to become more familiar with each other, their attraction to each other increased. Bereczkei, Gyruis, & Weisfield (2004) found that females who were adopted were more likely to marry husbands who resembled their adoptive fathers. There are several reasons why familiarity may breed attraction (Reis, Maniaci, Caprariello, Eastwick, & Finkel, 2011). We tend to view social experiences as positive and have positive affect during those experiences. Thus, we begin to associate those individuals we frequently encounter or become familiar with positive affect. Additionally, novel stimuli typically elicit uncertainty; however, after repeated exposure the uncertainty dissipates. That is, as we become familiar with people, we become less uncertain about them, which may enhance attraction. Familiar stimuli are also processed more fluently, which is experience as positive and familiarity creates opportunity for attraction.
Similarity is another situational factor that influences attraction. Research shows that perceived similarity may be even more important that actual similarity. Tidwell, Eastwick, and Finkel (2013) found that perceived similarity predicted whether an individual would like someone else romantically. Our perceptions can be altered by other others’ opinions. For example, researchers found that friend or parent approval mattered more than disapproval regarding how much a person liked their date (Wright & Sinclair, 2012). Additionally, friend opinion was much more influential on how much a date was liked or was likely to be chosen unless the person depended on parent opinion more than friend opinion.
Prior arousal is another factor to consider when determining to whom we are attracted. The Excitation Transfer Theory posits that excitement from a previous stimulus that is arousing may intensify a later emotional state (Meston & Frohlich, 2003). Researchers found that non-romantic partners who rode a roller coaster together found each other more attractive after riding the roller coaster. According to the Excitation Transfer Theory the individuals may be misattributing the arousal they experienced while riding the roller coaster as attraction to the person they were with while riding the roller coaster.
Clearly, choice is not the only factor that influences attraction. Biological and situational factors, such as familiarity, similarity, and prior arousal have a major impact on attraction. The interaction between all of these factors (i.e., biology, situation, and choice) is how attraction is determined. Biology may influence our needs, which in turn influences the situations we choose to get involved in.
Although we typically perceive who we are attracted to as a choice, that is a common misconception. Attraction is mostly influenced by a combination of biological and situational factors.
- Bereczkei, T., Gyuris, P., & Weisfeld, G. E. (2004). Sexual imprinting in human mate choice. The Royal Society, 271, 1129-1134.
- Meston, C. M., & Frohlich, P. F. (2003). Love at first fright: Partner salience moderates roller-coaster-induced excitation transfer. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 32(6), 537-544.
- Reis, H. T., Maniaci, M. R., Caprariello, P. A., Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2011). Familiarity does indeed promote attraction in live interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(3), 557-570.
- Stewart-Williams, S., & Thomas, A. G. (2013). The ape that thought it was a peacock: Does evolutionary psychology exaggerate human sex differences? Psychology Inquiry, 24, 137-168.
- Tidwell, N. D., Eastwick, P. W., Finkel, E. J. (2013). Perceived, not actual, similarity predicts initial attraction in a live romantic context: Evidence from the speed-dating paradigm. Personal Relationships, 20, 199-215.
- Wright, B. L. &, Sinclair, H. C. (2012). Pulling the strings: Effects of friend and parent opinions on dating choices. Personal Relationships, 1-16.